The Struggle is Real

Dear LAYNE, why do I feel like I'm struggling to survive?

       Matthew 10:29-31 "Two sparrows cost only a penny, but not even one of them can die without your Father's knowing it. God even knows how many hairs are on your head. So don't be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows."

       It was a bit chillier last Wednesday night. I was sitting outside on my school's intramural sports field watching a game of soccer transpire. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, I saw this huge moth come up out of the grass. I noticed the creature trying to fly higher and higher, the poor thing not getting very far before floating back toward the earth. It wouldn't let itself touch the ground before flapping its wings a little harder. I kept wondering when it was finally going to give up, guessing that its struggle to fly was due to a broken wing or something of the sort. I wanted to help it so much, but at the same time, I knew that if I tried to intervene, I might throw it off its desired course.
       Then it hit me...
       Maybe you have heard the story about the caterpillar also. It's going about its life, nothing out of the ordinary when one day, it runs into something new and unfamiliar. A struggle... It begins going through a change, a process, making its cocoon and working endlessly to finish it. Not only does it have to go through this tedious process of making the cocoon, it also has to spend time within the cocoon. It's known that the average caterpillar stays in a cocoon for about two weeks. If at any point someone messes with this cocoon or this caterpillar's process, the transformation into a butterfly can be interrupted, causing the caterpillar/butterfly to become crippled or even dead.

       You may ask, "Okay, so what does that have to do with my struggles?" Well, it's quite beautiful actually. God is not ignoring you. He is not allowing you to suffer while turning a blind eye to you. In fact, you are more precious and important than the sparrows in the sky that He watches closely. It is not that He is not there within your times of hardship or frustrations. He is not letting you drown. He is letting you go through a metamorphosis of your own, a process. If God lets you out too soon or rescues you from all of your problems every time, you may wither and fall. Maybe you feel broken while trying to fly. Maybe you feel like you are stuck in a sticky situation with no light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise that if you are obedient to Him, following after His heart and will, then these struggles are only the beginning of something incredible.
       Matthew 11:30 even tells us, "The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light." God is not giving you something or asking you to do something that He himself wouldn't deal with. We can see this because even His son was tempted three times by Satan just as we are tempted every day. He also GAVE UP His son just as he had asked Abraham to give up Isaac (which if you know the story, He stopped the sacrifice of Isaac after seeing that Abraham was FAITHFUL to Him.)
       You might be thinking, "Okay, so you said God isn't ignoring me, and I'm only going through a process of some kind, but how do you know that for sure?" My pastor once told the congregation, "The greater the calling, the greater the adversity." Sometimes we incur problems and struggles upon ourselves in our lives because of poor choices and mistakes or disobedience. God allows us to learn from them, even if it's the hard way. It doesn't mean, however, that He is incredibly angry with us, has stopped loving us, or is done with us. We also go through struggles and face temptations for other reasons. If you are doing everything you can to be in God's perfect will, and you are giving over everything to Him (including but not limited to your heart/soul, relationships, schoolwork, job, money etc.), but you are STILL feeling like you are struggling to survive in this life, Satan must be pretty angry about your choice to follow the Savior. He is probably throwing as many fiery darts/temptations at you as he can to make you stumble or get distracted. Meanwhile, God is also allowing you to be molded and tried so that you grow stronger and more mature in order to accomplish the amazing purpose He has in store for you around the corner.
       I say all of this because I have experienced these struggles, temptations, and breakthroughs multiple times throughout my life! I have seen the rainbows after the storms, but the storms HAD to occur for the rainbows to appear. I know it to be true that, in a lot of cases, He gives His greatest battles to His strongest warriors. If you feel like you have a huge battle upon your shoulders, then you may not have seen that hidden warrior inside of you yet.

       If you are ever in doubt about your struggles/temptations and the brokenness they bring you or God's intentions within them, just remember a few things:
       Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
       Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
       1 Peter 5:10 "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
       1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."
       Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
      


(All photos are NOT mine and may be subject to copyright.)

Why the Long Face?

Dear LAYNE, is it okay to feel sad and even sometimes cry?

John 11:35 "Jesus wept."

       I was sitting in my Shakespeare class today when all of the sudden, I felt an overwhelming feeling of stress come over me. I have a mound of homework slowly forming, and for this particular class, no book in order to complete some of this said homework. The clock finally reaches 1:45pm, and I exit, only making one stop to ask my professors if they have the book but then shooting directly for my dorm room. As soon as I walk into my door, I feel a knot in my stomach, causing tears to well up from inside the deepest pits of my spirit. What is wrong with me? There has to be a problem with me if I'm crying for no actual, substantial reason...right? WRONG.
       I personally have come to learn recently that crying is not a bad, nor unhealthy thing in itself. I will admit that I have gone to a few counseling sessions in order to get my emotions under control and also learn how to channel them when I feel them sneaking up on me. BUT going to counseling for the mere fact that I'm so emotional does NOT mean that being emotional is not of God because guess what? God created females (and even males to an extent) with the intention of making them tender, soft, compassionate, sweet, and nurturing. There is a difference between being completely dramatic or downright overly-emotional and just having a very gentle and sweet spirit. We humans have the grace from God to be able to grieve certain situations and also weep with joy over good news, and that is a BEAUTIFUL thing, not a messed up, tragic, hopeless, and helpless thing.
       Even Jesus had a moment of weeping in the garden of Gethsemane. JESUS. The Savior and the Redeemer. The PERFECT one. Yes, even He wept. When His heart felt broken and sad over His great friend Lazarus's death, He also cried then. The reason is because weeping can actually be so freeing. Take for instance the woman in the Bible in Luke 7:38. "As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them." Wow! Within these verses, the Bible tells us that this woman, a sinner, came to the feet of Jesus and worshiped Him with her TEARS! There was freedom in her releasing tears, and when we release our tears, we also release bondage, chains, heaviness, burdens, and so much more. Another amazing thing is that sometimes, even when we don't understand our emotions or why we are feeling certain ways, God is using us and our tears to intercede for others who don't necessarily have the ability to be reached on such a deep and intimate level! Sometimes our tears aren't even for ourselves! When we lay ourselves at the feet of Jesus and weep, He covers us in His blanket of peace and surrounds us with His wings of protection, letting us know that we don't have to be afraid or worry, but we can just be broken before Him. And the best part is, He uses the broken pieces and the tears to mold us back into something even more amazing than before.
       Next time you feel yourself getting very worked up and the water works starting to kick in, just remember that there is a time for sadness, a time for happiness, a time for sorrow and grievances, and a time for joy and dancing. It's okay to let it out and let it go because God sees your tears, holds them in His hands, and smiles because He knows your breakthrough is right around the corner!

(Photo is not mine and may be subject to copyright.)

MakeUp or Fake-Up?

      Dear LAYNE, am I really, seriously beautiful!?

       I was standing in the bathroom yesterday afternoon, getting frustrated at the fact that my eyeliner looked so uneven under my eyes. I had awakened for class earlier that day and had literally just thrown on clothes, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, put my glasses on, and headed out the door to make it to Advanced Grammar on time. This time, as I stood in the mirror, all I could think about was the fact that I wanted to look good. I wanted to look presentable and feel beautiful. But why did I want to look perfect so much to the point of doing and redoing my eyeliner in fear of looking lopsided or inexperienced with makeup?

       The more I thought about it, the more I considered myself to be crazy. Why did I feel the need to have that makeup on? Who was I really trying to look good for? My boyfriend of almost four years is already captivated by me, loving me with my hair up, my hair down, my makeup on, my makeup off, my contacts in, my glasses on. So why was I freaking out over some silly eyeliner that I could have just walked away without? 

       Then it hit me: There is a difference between putting on a fake face in order to hide yourself away and putting on makeup to simply enhance what you already love about yourself! I am beautiful with or without foundation, blush, eyeliner, eye-shadow, and mascara, and I don't need to change anything about myself for anyone else. Why? Because the Lord, the Lover of my soul, the Creator of the universe loves me for who I NATURALLY am. How do I know this? Because He has told me so! Jeremiah 1:5 tells me that the Lord knew me before I was even in my mother's womb! He set me apart and made me unique before I was even born into this world! Not only that, but Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" (NIV). Now I know what you are thinking. "Wait, what? God actually took the time to think about me and make me special? He made me wonderful? Are you sure?" The answer to all of those questions is YES!

       There is absolutely no reason to try and completely re-arrange and reform what the Potter has already created! Isaiah 64:8 tells us that He is the Potter, and we are His clay. He formed us and made us just like he wanted us to be. Going and trying to change something that He is so proud of creating would be one of the craziest and honestly silliest things I could possibly do. Genesis 1:27 reminds us that when God, as the Potter, formed us, He made us in His very own image. And guess what? God's image is PERFECT. Through Him, we are perfectly made, face and all. So next time you feel the need to beautify yourself to go out for the day or for the night, ask yourself, "Am I using makeup to simply enhance the beauty that I already know is there underneath it, or am I simply undergoing a fake-up to try and be perfect by myself and impress those who might not even realize Whose image I am really made in?" I pray that you take a second glance in the mirror, notice how amazingly breathtaking you truly are, and answer your own question with: "I know my true beauty, and today, I choose makeup and not a fake-up!"

(All photos are NOT mine and may be subject to copyright.)