Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

Dear LAYNE, what do I do if someone does wrong by me?

       We've all been there. Someone you know or maybe even someone you don't does something completely unacceptable towards you, and you're probably left humiliated, hurt, and most likely angry. Maybe your significant other broke up with you or cheated on you. Maybe your child has run away from home even thought you have done nothing but give them everything. Maybe you got fired from your job, and your boss doesn't even act like he or she cares that you can barely put food on the table. Whatever the circumstances at hand, you have been left feeling numb or bitter.
       I've experienced this before. People who were really close to me broke my trust by stabbing me in the back or broke my heart by leaving me in the dust. They were some of the hardest moments of my life, and it certainly wasn't fun going through the pain. But the thing is, one day, I realized holding onto the pain and the unforgiveness was only holding ME back, not the other person.
       Ever heard the saying, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die"? Forgiving is sometimes honestly a lot easier said than done, and it definitely takes time, but it's worth it in the end. In fact, the Word tells us in Matthew 5:39, "But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also."

       "Wait, hold up. WHAT!? I have to just act like nothing happened and move on? I have to in fact turn my other cheek toward them and give them another chance to hurt me? I can't do something to get back at them? Becca, you have to be joking. You're being ridiculous and quite irrational." But am I? Here are two verses that might help you understand. Romans 12:19 states, "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord." Deuteronomy 32:35 states, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them." The Word is explaining to us that we don't have to go out for revenge and try to make sure that someone gets what's coming to him or her. In fact, our God is SO awesome, that He makes sure the person has to answer for whatever he or she has done and tells us that revenge is His. He will avenge us because we are His children, and He loves us. He will look out for us. He wants us to know that there will be a time when "what goes around comes around" and the person will find that what he or she has reaped will be sown back to them. In other words, karma, as we call it, has shown up on the doorstep. This means that we are allowed to step back, know our God is a big God, realize that we can also be a bigger person, and let it go.
       You may be wondering if I'm telling you to give people a second chance. The truth is, it honestly depends on what the Lord wants for your life and whether or not He wants the person to be in it. This is where you must use your good judgement/discernment and make a decision. What matters is that even if you do let someone go, you should make sure to be on good terms so that you are not holding unforgiveness in your heart. This will only bring you down and keep the door from closing on that chapter in your life. If you do decide to give the person another chance, make sure that there are new loving boundaries set or that the person realizes trust is something that must be carefully rebuilt with respect and honor for each other. 
      Matthew 6:15 notes, "But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." It may be hard to forgive, and even if you forgive, it may be hard to forget. But remember that Christ has forgiven us and even DIED for us so that we might have chances at eternal life with Him. Not only that, but God actually does forget because he takes our sins, once they are forgiven, and casts them into the fiery pits.


(All photos are NOT mine and may be subject to copyright.)

When Anxiety Attacks

Dear LAYNE, what do I do when I'm feeling anxious and worried?

        Finals are coming up, and it's crunch time! I have so much on my plate, including this blog, if I'm going to be honest. I have to review almost everything from over this whole semester and also still have papers to edit and revise for final drafts. I also have some stuff going on at home that God is working out and still want to maintain a great relationship with God, my family, my boyfriend, and my friends. Not to mention, I NEED sleep and also breaks to eat and shower, etc. With so much to do, I sometimes only look at the whole entire picture instead of looking at only one thing at a time. When this happens, I break down because all I can see are the fifty million things I have to do and a clock that's ticking. The crazy thing is that some of the people around me have an even busier schedule than me by a long shot, and somehow, they still manage to keep going and make stuff happen.  I won't lie to you that sometimes this kind of stress makes me personally feel like I'm going to keel over in an anxiety or panic attack. So what am I supposed to do when everything is getting to me and making me feel anxious or worried?

       The Word says in Philippians 4:6-7, "⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

       Okay, Becca...but what does this mean? Well, let me first say that Paul was writing to the Philippians when these two verses were inspired -- while he was in PRISON. If that doesn't give anyone at least one cause to feel anxious, I don't know what does. Paul remained positive while in prison. He didn't let it freak him out or make him lose his marbles. He kept his cool and basically told the Philippians to do the same. These verses express to us that there is no reason to fret or be all worked up about things, letting them eat us alive. The word "supplication" means to beg for or ask for something earnestly but in a humble manner. That being said, as children of the Most High, we are actually supposed to daily, even sometimes hourly if need be, go to the Lord and say, "Hey, God. This is what's going on, and I know I shouldn't be anxious about it, so I'm just outwardly confessing to You that I'm working on keeping my cool about it. The thing is, I need Your help, so I'm just thanking You for being God and for taking care of everything so that I don't have to feel anxious about it." Tell God what you need or what your heart desires, and do it with humbleness and repetition, showing faithfulness to prayer and the Lord. When you do these things, the Word continues on in verse 7 to say that the peace we need over the situations will wash over us and be so overwhelming that we can't even understand it enough to explain. This peace will protect us and everything in our hearts and minds that we have placed at the hands and feet of Jesus.

       If you ever find yourself becoming anxious, you can quote the verse in your heart or out loud, but here is another thing that someone very wise recently told me. If I'm ever having a time of trouble and feel myself getting anxious or worried, I should close my eyes, get still and quiet for just a moment and then say out loud, "Lord, I trust You. Lord, I trust You. Lord, I trust you." And when I finally feel at peace, I thank the Lord and continue about my day.
      Whether it be a job interview, a new job, which car to buy, which school to attend or enroll your children in, which church to become a member of, which house to settle in, or any other thing, no matter how big or small it may be, remember that God knows what is important to you. He is waiting for you to reach out and let Him become the center of whatever situation so that He might give you peace for your anxiety and troubles and worry.


(All photos are NOT mine and may be subject to copyright).

Reasons for the Seasons

Dear LAYNE, why can't I seem to overcome my depression even though I have a relationship with God?

Ecclesiastes 3:1;4 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to weep and a time to dance..."

       Maybe it's because I'm homesick. Maybe it's because the campus that I live on is small, and there isn't much to do around here. Maybe it's because I randomly get a lot of assignments to do at one time and feel stressed. Maybe it's because I haven't been spending enough time with God to talk to Him and listen to Him, praying and worshiping all the while. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm lost in a sea of people and/or I'm lonely. Maybe it's because I'm naturally a human and a sinner who struggles in life just like everyone else. Maybe it's a huge combination of all of those things. Whatever the reason, here lately has been difficult for me, and I have been battling what America calls "depression."
       It's one of those topics that honestly feels complicated to discuss. Most people shy away from the subject because it makes them feel uncomfortable. I'm never really sure how people are going to react to how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. I feel insecure about having those said thoughts and feelings most of the time and fear being vulnerable. I'm most worried that no one is going to understand or relate to me. A lot of the time, I'd rather hide myself away because I don't want to burden anyone with the fact that I struggle to find interest in things or humor in things. There are also times, I don't know if I am strong enough to play the part and put on a mask so that I'm not a downer. Then I wonder how God is going to feel about me being so depressed when He is supposed to be my source of all joy and everything good in life. How can I possibly be down in the dumps with a God like Him in my life and with the relationship we have? Why can't I get out of those dumps? How does he view me? Is he disappointed? Does He still love me? Is my relationship with Him actually going to suffer because of any depression?

       The truth is, whether we like it or not, depression is a weapon from the enemy, and it's more common than we think. We are not alone. In fact, there is a guy in the Bible we might relate to: Job.
       The guy has a great relationship with God...so much in fact that Satan challenges God about him. He thinks that he can get Job to curse God and turn away from Him after taking everything he has. God believes that Job will not do as Satan suggests he will. In one day, Job loses all of his ten children, livestock, and servants. Job shaves his head, tears pouring from his eyes, but he chooses to bless God. God allows Satan another chance to tempt Job. Sores take over his skin, and he is miserable. His wife even tells him to go ahead and curse God and die. But Job takes his circumstances and accepts them, pressing on through the pain and hardship. When his three friends come to visit, Job expresses to them that he curses the day he was born and that light and life itself simply magnify his misery and depression. His friends think there must be sins or evil committed against God that he is paying for. Then they say his punishments should be worse and that his children incurred their own deaths. Not only did he lose so much, but Job didn't even have a support group either! Job is bothered by their "wisdom" and lets them know that he has a witness and Redeemer in heaven who can vouch for his innocence.

       But that does not stop Job from becoming afraid, worried, impatient, and sarcastic. While Job gets very irritated with God and wants to complain to Him that evil people are prospering while tons of innocent people are being left to suffer, he knows he cannot physically find the Lord. He then decides to just sit and wait patiently, fearing the Lord and straying from evil in the meantime.
       Even though his fourth friend is just as "wise" as the others and doesn't give Job much encouragement, he does say a few interesting things. "God communicates with humans by two ways—visions and physical pain...physical suffering provides the sufferer with an opportunity to realize God’s love and forgiveness when he is well again, understanding that God has 'ransomed' him from an impending death (33:24)."***
       In the end, Job realizes who he really serves. God sees Job's faithfulness to Him through all of his loss, misery, depression, and hopelessness. He then multiplies everything Job had by two and returns it to him: health, property, and new children.

       There is a time and a season for everything. Much like Job - for multiple reasons, some the same as each other, some different - we go through seasons of depression. I call them "drought" seasons. We feel empty, spiritually dry, weak, sad, overwhelmed or possibly numb. And God knows this. It's written in His Word that there are times for mourning and weeping. But it also says there are times for laughter and dancing. The problem, however, is that we often forget to laugh and dance through the weeping and the mourning until the storms of life evaporate. Unlike Job, we often forget to praise the Lord and give Him glory, honor, and blessings to His name when we are down in the dumps and feel like our problems will never pass. Those may truly be two of the reasons that we can't get out of the depression: 1) Not accepting that sometimes there are seasons in which we will not feel or hear from God directly (even though He is always there with us) and/or that there are seasons we will simply feel dry and empty, and 2) Not giving God what He deserves even when we do go through those rough seasons.
       The amazing thing about all of this is that we can be rest assured that there IS a new season coming eventually. For some, it may take years, for others, it may only be a few days. And for the rest, different times in between. But the fact is, it WILL come. We have to trust God that no matter what season we are in, we can stick to Him in our relationships with Him, and He will reveal to us in due time the reasons for our hurts and pains, our sadness, tears, and depressions if it is in our best interests, especially if they can be used to minister to others who are where we have been. Until then, we must know that God will give us grace to dwell in these seasons and strength for when we feel weak and as though we can no longer carry on in these seasons. We must lean on Him and know that He is God despite our low days, and we must remember that much like continuing to worship God in times of darkness, rainbows can still shine through darkened clouds and storms.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Keep your head up, and try hiding these verses in your heart for those days that make you feel like you can't go on.

• Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
• Deuteronomy 31:8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
• Psalm 34:7 "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles."
• Psalm 42:11 "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."
• 1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
• 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
• 1 Peter 4:12-13 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
• Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

(All photos are NOT mine and are subject to copyright. ***this is a brief summary from sparknotes).

Sitting with Sinners

Dear LAYNE, what if I feel like I'm nothing special? Can God still really use me?

Matthew 9:10 "While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples."

   

       It was only a few weeks ago. I was sitting in a Mexican restaurant called La Fogata with my parents and two of our family friends. This kind of occurrence happened often, as we enjoyed each others' company and eating good food. This particular occurrence, however, turned out to be very different than usual.
       She caught my eyes while they were wandering around the room and taking in colors. Barely taller than her cleaning cart, she walked around the restaurant picking up trash, sweeping up dirt, wiping down the tables, rearranging the tables' condiments, and stopping every little bit to take a moment to breathe. I knew what I had to do as soon as she had caught my eye. The feeling was instantaneous and unable to be swayed. I couldn't procrastinate, but fear slowly crept up my spine.
       What if she didn't receive me? I thought to myself, "Lord, there is no way I'm going through with this. I refuse. I just can't. She may not even speak English!" Arguments poured out of my head and heart and into the heavens. "Fine," I finally surrendered, "if she walks by me on my right side, I'll do what You have asked." God must have chuckled at me. Everyone knows you don't try to make deals with Him when it comes to His will and your obedience.
       I typed a quick little message to both my mother and one of the family friends. "I have to pray for her. I don't know why, and I don't even know what to say." My mother's eyes met mine, and she began to murmur under her breath. "Which lady?" I nodded in her direction. "How do I know it's really God telling me to do it?" I asked. "Is your heart speeding up?" "Yes, and my legs are tingly," I replied. As crazy or strange as they may be, those are always the "symptoms" I get when I know the Lord wants me to move. This time was no different than any of the others, and the sensations grew stronger as I watched her sit down in the booth across from us and rest.
       It was a leap of faith, but I couldn't combat God any longer. I got up from the table and walked over to the woman. I had typed out a little note on my phone which I then translated. After, I handed her my phone. She glanced at the words: "I felt led to pray for you. Would that be okay with you?" Her eyes squinted briefly and she looked up to meet my eyes. Her smile was reassuring. I typed out a long prayer into the translator and watched it transition from English to Spanish. "Me llamo Becca," I added out loud for her. "She glanced up and introduced herself." Then she went back to reading.
       "Dear Jesus, my Savior, my Lord and King," it began, "I thank you for Rosa. I thank you that she is more beautiful than all the flowers You have created. I thank you that she is valuable and that You love her..." The rest of the paragraph had flowed out from the Spirit within me. Once she was done reading, she looked up again and smiled widely. She must have understood, and even if she didn't, her spirit man definitely did. I then proceeded to quickly recap the prayer out loud in English. She allowed me to hug her. "Buenas noches," my voice lilted to her. She waved to me as I walked out of the restaurant.
       This is not something I wanted to do. It was almost embarrassing, extremely scary, and risky. Anything could have happened. Not only that, but I felt completely inadequate to take on such a responsible and spiritual task. I didn't feel that I was ready or mature enough. How was it that God could use me when a few days before, I was feeling depressed, worthless, sin-filled, and dirty? Then it hit me.
       Throughout the whole entire Bible, we see that outside of Jesus, God didn't use completely perfect, blameless, 100% holy people. In fact, He used quite the opposite. It was His joy to use those who were in the dumps, in pits of sin. I have been reminded of this recently and found some perfect examples of this fact that have been shared among my friends on social networking.
        Noah got downright drunk. Genesis 9:21 states, "When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent." As you may or may not know, the Bible clearly says in Ephesians 5:18, "Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit." Yes, it is actually not cool with God if you get drunk. He would rather you be filled with His Spirit, and believe it or not, I have ever been drunk with the Spirit (without any alcohol passing my lips. It's much more rewarding). God used Noah to build a whole entire ark full of every animal you could ever imagine, knowing that he was just an ordinary man who liked drinking.

       Moses was a murderer. Exodus 2:12 tells us this: "Moses looked all around and saw that no one was watching, so he killed the Egyptian and hid his body in the sand." Murder is in the Ten Commandments, for crying out loud. "Thou shalt not kill." Seems pretty straightforward, but Moses killed. God still used Him to deliver His people out of Egypt! He used him to send messages to the Pharaoh, to speak the prophecy of the plagues, and to part a whole entire sea! Leading a whole crowd of people is a pretty large task for someone who killed another person. But God didn't care. He had plans for Moses.

     Rahab was a prostitute. Joshua 6:25 tells us what she was but what she ended up doing. "Joshua saved Rahab the prostitute, her family, and all who were with her, because Rahab had helped the men he had sent to spy out Jericho." So, wait, back the truck up. She was sexually immoral, a sinner, and God still used her to save the men who were working for the kingdom? That's insane, right?

      David was an adulterer AND a murderer. 2 Samuel 11 explains that David was up on his roof and saw Bathsheba from afar. She was very beautiful, and she was married to Uriah the Hittite. David sent for her and had sexual relations with her, causing her to become pregnant. Later, David had Uriah purposefully put on the front lines in battle to be killed. All of this happened, yet God still used David to be a great and mighty king and a giant slayer. Not only that, but the Bible says in Acts 13:22 that David was a man after His own heart.

      Okay, Becca. You have said a whole lot and given a lot of examples of people who were sinners that God just so happened to use. How is that relevant to me? It's simple. God foresaw every single sin that these people were going to commit. He knew what kind of lives they would live and how dirty their hearts, minds, and spirits would be. Even on our best days, our righteousness is as filthy as rags (Isaiah 6:46). We will never amount to a perfect holiness in this life, and guess what? God knows that! Otherwise, He would not have sent His Son to save our lives. We were born into sin, but God knew we would also incur a lot of sin in our lives by our choices and decisions.
       These people in the Bible were just average, ordinary, everyday people. They weren't anything special at first. By the grace of God, they became leaders and servants of the kingdom. God in them made them far more special than they ever could have been by themselves and despite their sin. No matter what, God had a plan for them and LOVED them just as He loves us and wants us to fulfill our purposes He has created for us. If you think you can't be used because of your sin or issues in life, just remember that Jesus chose to dine with sinners far more often than with those who thought they were superior and righteous or holy. He may use people who have it all together (although who ever REALLY does?), but He truly seeks to use those who are "the lowest of the low." Not only does it give Him great joy to meet us in the bottoms of our pits, but He rejoices in lifting us up and revealing Himself and His glory to us and all of those around us, ultimately bringing about salvations and stories of redemption.

(All photos are not mine and may be subject to copyright!)

ARK

Dear LAYNE, what do I do when everything in life feels like a boring routine?

Luke 6:38 "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

       Here lately, I have been feeling sort of suffocated on my campus. What I mean is, I have been feeling like my campus is super small with nothing to do and nowhere to really go. I have been getting bored and even a bit irritated and grumpy because of lack of entertainment. I just don't like routines and ruts. I never have. But this particular time, my boredom has had me thinking about what kinds of things I could be doing to fill my time of sitting around after all my homework is done.

       I could definitely watch movies because Netflix is readily available. I could watch all my favorite TV shows: How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, Once Upon a Time, etc. I could color pictures of huge butterflies or lady bugs, I could do word-searches, I could work some Sudoku puzzles or even put real puzzles together. I could go for walks, I could write some songs, poetry, or stories. I could attempt to draw a self-portrait or a picture of my boyfriend. I could play Solitaire or any other games including that of video games with my boyfriend and friends. I could do SO MUCH, even if it requires me to deal with being in an enclosed place. OR... I could do ARK. That's right. There's no typo. ARK: Acts of Random Kindness.

       I remember when I was on my drama team called 4FR, we talked a whole lot about Acts of Random Kindness. They are literally exactly what they sound like. Little things that we can do for those around us out of the kindness of our hearts. This can include, but is not limited to: holding the door open for people, offering to put groceries into a person's car such as a mother who is trying to get her baby in the car by herself, offering to help tutor someone in one of his or her classes, washing someone's car, walking someone's dog(s) for them, babysitting some children so that the parent(s) can get stuff done or go out for some much needed relaxation time, painting someone's house (or better yet helping to build someone a home like Habitats for Humanity), making or buying food for the homeless and the hungry. There is SO much that needs to be done or can be done to make a difference in the world and make it brighter. Too many times, we sit around and get bent all out of shape because we are bored or want to go somewhere and can't. However, there are so many problems that are ten times bigger than that, and we can be the solutions to those problems through ARK! 

       The amazing part is: even if we do not do ARK for attention or to get anything in return, the ARK do not go unnoticed by God! He sees your heart and your intentions when you serve those around you, and He blesses those who give all they have with all their might as if they are not only serving people, but Him also! He rewards our characters and our desires to follow His will, and His will is to humble ourselves before others, putting them before ourselves. In fact, the Word says that if we give, whatever we give will be given BACK to us. The more we give, the more that blessings will basically fall into our laps, overflowing from the heavens! If you need any more good ideas for ARK in your daily life, here are a few, or you can even visit: randomactsofkindness.org

(All photos are not mine and may be subject to copyright)

The Struggle is Real

Dear LAYNE, why do I feel like I'm struggling to survive?

       Matthew 10:29-31 "Two sparrows cost only a penny, but not even one of them can die without your Father's knowing it. God even knows how many hairs are on your head. So don't be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows."

       It was a bit chillier last Wednesday night. I was sitting outside on my school's intramural sports field watching a game of soccer transpire. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, I saw this huge moth come up out of the grass. I noticed the creature trying to fly higher and higher, the poor thing not getting very far before floating back toward the earth. It wouldn't let itself touch the ground before flapping its wings a little harder. I kept wondering when it was finally going to give up, guessing that its struggle to fly was due to a broken wing or something of the sort. I wanted to help it so much, but at the same time, I knew that if I tried to intervene, I might throw it off its desired course.
       Then it hit me...
       Maybe you have heard the story about the caterpillar also. It's going about its life, nothing out of the ordinary when one day, it runs into something new and unfamiliar. A struggle... It begins going through a change, a process, making its cocoon and working endlessly to finish it. Not only does it have to go through this tedious process of making the cocoon, it also has to spend time within the cocoon. It's known that the average caterpillar stays in a cocoon for about two weeks. If at any point someone messes with this cocoon or this caterpillar's process, the transformation into a butterfly can be interrupted, causing the caterpillar/butterfly to become crippled or even dead.

       You may ask, "Okay, so what does that have to do with my struggles?" Well, it's quite beautiful actually. God is not ignoring you. He is not allowing you to suffer while turning a blind eye to you. In fact, you are more precious and important than the sparrows in the sky that He watches closely. It is not that He is not there within your times of hardship or frustrations. He is not letting you drown. He is letting you go through a metamorphosis of your own, a process. If God lets you out too soon or rescues you from all of your problems every time, you may wither and fall. Maybe you feel broken while trying to fly. Maybe you feel like you are stuck in a sticky situation with no light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise that if you are obedient to Him, following after His heart and will, then these struggles are only the beginning of something incredible.
       Matthew 11:30 even tells us, "The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light." God is not giving you something or asking you to do something that He himself wouldn't deal with. We can see this because even His son was tempted three times by Satan just as we are tempted every day. He also GAVE UP His son just as he had asked Abraham to give up Isaac (which if you know the story, He stopped the sacrifice of Isaac after seeing that Abraham was FAITHFUL to Him.)
       You might be thinking, "Okay, so you said God isn't ignoring me, and I'm only going through a process of some kind, but how do you know that for sure?" My pastor once told the congregation, "The greater the calling, the greater the adversity." Sometimes we incur problems and struggles upon ourselves in our lives because of poor choices and mistakes or disobedience. God allows us to learn from them, even if it's the hard way. It doesn't mean, however, that He is incredibly angry with us, has stopped loving us, or is done with us. We also go through struggles and face temptations for other reasons. If you are doing everything you can to be in God's perfect will, and you are giving over everything to Him (including but not limited to your heart/soul, relationships, schoolwork, job, money etc.), but you are STILL feeling like you are struggling to survive in this life, Satan must be pretty angry about your choice to follow the Savior. He is probably throwing as many fiery darts/temptations at you as he can to make you stumble or get distracted. Meanwhile, God is also allowing you to be molded and tried so that you grow stronger and more mature in order to accomplish the amazing purpose He has in store for you around the corner.
       I say all of this because I have experienced these struggles, temptations, and breakthroughs multiple times throughout my life! I have seen the rainbows after the storms, but the storms HAD to occur for the rainbows to appear. I know it to be true that, in a lot of cases, He gives His greatest battles to His strongest warriors. If you feel like you have a huge battle upon your shoulders, then you may not have seen that hidden warrior inside of you yet.

       If you are ever in doubt about your struggles/temptations and the brokenness they bring you or God's intentions within them, just remember a few things:
       Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
       Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
       1 Peter 5:10 "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
       1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."
       Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
      


(All photos are NOT mine and may be subject to copyright.)

Why the Long Face?

Dear LAYNE, is it okay to feel sad and even sometimes cry?

John 11:35 "Jesus wept."

       I was sitting in my Shakespeare class today when all of the sudden, I felt an overwhelming feeling of stress come over me. I have a mound of homework slowly forming, and for this particular class, no book in order to complete some of this said homework. The clock finally reaches 1:45pm, and I exit, only making one stop to ask my professors if they have the book but then shooting directly for my dorm room. As soon as I walk into my door, I feel a knot in my stomach, causing tears to well up from inside the deepest pits of my spirit. What is wrong with me? There has to be a problem with me if I'm crying for no actual, substantial reason...right? WRONG.
       I personally have come to learn recently that crying is not a bad, nor unhealthy thing in itself. I will admit that I have gone to a few counseling sessions in order to get my emotions under control and also learn how to channel them when I feel them sneaking up on me. BUT going to counseling for the mere fact that I'm so emotional does NOT mean that being emotional is not of God because guess what? God created females (and even males to an extent) with the intention of making them tender, soft, compassionate, sweet, and nurturing. There is a difference between being completely dramatic or downright overly-emotional and just having a very gentle and sweet spirit. We humans have the grace from God to be able to grieve certain situations and also weep with joy over good news, and that is a BEAUTIFUL thing, not a messed up, tragic, hopeless, and helpless thing.
       Even Jesus had a moment of weeping in the garden of Gethsemane. JESUS. The Savior and the Redeemer. The PERFECT one. Yes, even He wept. When His heart felt broken and sad over His great friend Lazarus's death, He also cried then. The reason is because weeping can actually be so freeing. Take for instance the woman in the Bible in Luke 7:38. "As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them." Wow! Within these verses, the Bible tells us that this woman, a sinner, came to the feet of Jesus and worshiped Him with her TEARS! There was freedom in her releasing tears, and when we release our tears, we also release bondage, chains, heaviness, burdens, and so much more. Another amazing thing is that sometimes, even when we don't understand our emotions or why we are feeling certain ways, God is using us and our tears to intercede for others who don't necessarily have the ability to be reached on such a deep and intimate level! Sometimes our tears aren't even for ourselves! When we lay ourselves at the feet of Jesus and weep, He covers us in His blanket of peace and surrounds us with His wings of protection, letting us know that we don't have to be afraid or worry, but we can just be broken before Him. And the best part is, He uses the broken pieces and the tears to mold us back into something even more amazing than before.
       Next time you feel yourself getting very worked up and the water works starting to kick in, just remember that there is a time for sadness, a time for happiness, a time for sorrow and grievances, and a time for joy and dancing. It's okay to let it out and let it go because God sees your tears, holds them in His hands, and smiles because He knows your breakthrough is right around the corner!

(Photo is not mine and may be subject to copyright.)

MakeUp or Fake-Up?

      Dear LAYNE, am I really, seriously beautiful!?

       I was standing in the bathroom yesterday afternoon, getting frustrated at the fact that my eyeliner looked so uneven under my eyes. I had awakened for class earlier that day and had literally just thrown on clothes, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, put my glasses on, and headed out the door to make it to Advanced Grammar on time. This time, as I stood in the mirror, all I could think about was the fact that I wanted to look good. I wanted to look presentable and feel beautiful. But why did I want to look perfect so much to the point of doing and redoing my eyeliner in fear of looking lopsided or inexperienced with makeup?

       The more I thought about it, the more I considered myself to be crazy. Why did I feel the need to have that makeup on? Who was I really trying to look good for? My boyfriend of almost four years is already captivated by me, loving me with my hair up, my hair down, my makeup on, my makeup off, my contacts in, my glasses on. So why was I freaking out over some silly eyeliner that I could have just walked away without? 

       Then it hit me: There is a difference between putting on a fake face in order to hide yourself away and putting on makeup to simply enhance what you already love about yourself! I am beautiful with or without foundation, blush, eyeliner, eye-shadow, and mascara, and I don't need to change anything about myself for anyone else. Why? Because the Lord, the Lover of my soul, the Creator of the universe loves me for who I NATURALLY am. How do I know this? Because He has told me so! Jeremiah 1:5 tells me that the Lord knew me before I was even in my mother's womb! He set me apart and made me unique before I was even born into this world! Not only that, but Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" (NIV). Now I know what you are thinking. "Wait, what? God actually took the time to think about me and make me special? He made me wonderful? Are you sure?" The answer to all of those questions is YES!

       There is absolutely no reason to try and completely re-arrange and reform what the Potter has already created! Isaiah 64:8 tells us that He is the Potter, and we are His clay. He formed us and made us just like he wanted us to be. Going and trying to change something that He is so proud of creating would be one of the craziest and honestly silliest things I could possibly do. Genesis 1:27 reminds us that when God, as the Potter, formed us, He made us in His very own image. And guess what? God's image is PERFECT. Through Him, we are perfectly made, face and all. So next time you feel the need to beautify yourself to go out for the day or for the night, ask yourself, "Am I using makeup to simply enhance the beauty that I already know is there underneath it, or am I simply undergoing a fake-up to try and be perfect by myself and impress those who might not even realize Whose image I am really made in?" I pray that you take a second glance in the mirror, notice how amazingly breathtaking you truly are, and answer your own question with: "I know my true beauty, and today, I choose makeup and not a fake-up!"

(All photos are NOT mine and may be subject to copyright.)