Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

Dear LAYNE, what do I do if someone does wrong by me?

       We've all been there. Someone you know or maybe even someone you don't does something completely unacceptable towards you, and you're probably left humiliated, hurt, and most likely angry. Maybe your significant other broke up with you or cheated on you. Maybe your child has run away from home even thought you have done nothing but give them everything. Maybe you got fired from your job, and your boss doesn't even act like he or she cares that you can barely put food on the table. Whatever the circumstances at hand, you have been left feeling numb or bitter.
       I've experienced this before. People who were really close to me broke my trust by stabbing me in the back or broke my heart by leaving me in the dust. They were some of the hardest moments of my life, and it certainly wasn't fun going through the pain. But the thing is, one day, I realized holding onto the pain and the unforgiveness was only holding ME back, not the other person.
       Ever heard the saying, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die"? Forgiving is sometimes honestly a lot easier said than done, and it definitely takes time, but it's worth it in the end. In fact, the Word tells us in Matthew 5:39, "But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also."

       "Wait, hold up. WHAT!? I have to just act like nothing happened and move on? I have to in fact turn my other cheek toward them and give them another chance to hurt me? I can't do something to get back at them? Becca, you have to be joking. You're being ridiculous and quite irrational." But am I? Here are two verses that might help you understand. Romans 12:19 states, "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord." Deuteronomy 32:35 states, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them." The Word is explaining to us that we don't have to go out for revenge and try to make sure that someone gets what's coming to him or her. In fact, our God is SO awesome, that He makes sure the person has to answer for whatever he or she has done and tells us that revenge is His. He will avenge us because we are His children, and He loves us. He will look out for us. He wants us to know that there will be a time when "what goes around comes around" and the person will find that what he or she has reaped will be sown back to them. In other words, karma, as we call it, has shown up on the doorstep. This means that we are allowed to step back, know our God is a big God, realize that we can also be a bigger person, and let it go.
       You may be wondering if I'm telling you to give people a second chance. The truth is, it honestly depends on what the Lord wants for your life and whether or not He wants the person to be in it. This is where you must use your good judgement/discernment and make a decision. What matters is that even if you do let someone go, you should make sure to be on good terms so that you are not holding unforgiveness in your heart. This will only bring you down and keep the door from closing on that chapter in your life. If you do decide to give the person another chance, make sure that there are new loving boundaries set or that the person realizes trust is something that must be carefully rebuilt with respect and honor for each other. 
      Matthew 6:15 notes, "But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." It may be hard to forgive, and even if you forgive, it may be hard to forget. But remember that Christ has forgiven us and even DIED for us so that we might have chances at eternal life with Him. Not only that, but God actually does forget because he takes our sins, once they are forgiven, and casts them into the fiery pits.


(All photos are NOT mine and may be subject to copyright.)

When Anxiety Attacks

Dear LAYNE, what do I do when I'm feeling anxious and worried?

        Finals are coming up, and it's crunch time! I have so much on my plate, including this blog, if I'm going to be honest. I have to review almost everything from over this whole semester and also still have papers to edit and revise for final drafts. I also have some stuff going on at home that God is working out and still want to maintain a great relationship with God, my family, my boyfriend, and my friends. Not to mention, I NEED sleep and also breaks to eat and shower, etc. With so much to do, I sometimes only look at the whole entire picture instead of looking at only one thing at a time. When this happens, I break down because all I can see are the fifty million things I have to do and a clock that's ticking. The crazy thing is that some of the people around me have an even busier schedule than me by a long shot, and somehow, they still manage to keep going and make stuff happen.  I won't lie to you that sometimes this kind of stress makes me personally feel like I'm going to keel over in an anxiety or panic attack. So what am I supposed to do when everything is getting to me and making me feel anxious or worried?

       The Word says in Philippians 4:6-7, "⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

       Okay, Becca...but what does this mean? Well, let me first say that Paul was writing to the Philippians when these two verses were inspired -- while he was in PRISON. If that doesn't give anyone at least one cause to feel anxious, I don't know what does. Paul remained positive while in prison. He didn't let it freak him out or make him lose his marbles. He kept his cool and basically told the Philippians to do the same. These verses express to us that there is no reason to fret or be all worked up about things, letting them eat us alive. The word "supplication" means to beg for or ask for something earnestly but in a humble manner. That being said, as children of the Most High, we are actually supposed to daily, even sometimes hourly if need be, go to the Lord and say, "Hey, God. This is what's going on, and I know I shouldn't be anxious about it, so I'm just outwardly confessing to You that I'm working on keeping my cool about it. The thing is, I need Your help, so I'm just thanking You for being God and for taking care of everything so that I don't have to feel anxious about it." Tell God what you need or what your heart desires, and do it with humbleness and repetition, showing faithfulness to prayer and the Lord. When you do these things, the Word continues on in verse 7 to say that the peace we need over the situations will wash over us and be so overwhelming that we can't even understand it enough to explain. This peace will protect us and everything in our hearts and minds that we have placed at the hands and feet of Jesus.

       If you ever find yourself becoming anxious, you can quote the verse in your heart or out loud, but here is another thing that someone very wise recently told me. If I'm ever having a time of trouble and feel myself getting anxious or worried, I should close my eyes, get still and quiet for just a moment and then say out loud, "Lord, I trust You. Lord, I trust You. Lord, I trust you." And when I finally feel at peace, I thank the Lord and continue about my day.
      Whether it be a job interview, a new job, which car to buy, which school to attend or enroll your children in, which church to become a member of, which house to settle in, or any other thing, no matter how big or small it may be, remember that God knows what is important to you. He is waiting for you to reach out and let Him become the center of whatever situation so that He might give you peace for your anxiety and troubles and worry.


(All photos are NOT mine and may be subject to copyright).