Sitting with Sinners

Dear LAYNE, what if I feel like I'm nothing special? Can God still really use me?

Matthew 9:10 "While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples."

   

       It was only a few weeks ago. I was sitting in a Mexican restaurant called La Fogata with my parents and two of our family friends. This kind of occurrence happened often, as we enjoyed each others' company and eating good food. This particular occurrence, however, turned out to be very different than usual.
       She caught my eyes while they were wandering around the room and taking in colors. Barely taller than her cleaning cart, she walked around the restaurant picking up trash, sweeping up dirt, wiping down the tables, rearranging the tables' condiments, and stopping every little bit to take a moment to breathe. I knew what I had to do as soon as she had caught my eye. The feeling was instantaneous and unable to be swayed. I couldn't procrastinate, but fear slowly crept up my spine.
       What if she didn't receive me? I thought to myself, "Lord, there is no way I'm going through with this. I refuse. I just can't. She may not even speak English!" Arguments poured out of my head and heart and into the heavens. "Fine," I finally surrendered, "if she walks by me on my right side, I'll do what You have asked." God must have chuckled at me. Everyone knows you don't try to make deals with Him when it comes to His will and your obedience.
       I typed a quick little message to both my mother and one of the family friends. "I have to pray for her. I don't know why, and I don't even know what to say." My mother's eyes met mine, and she began to murmur under her breath. "Which lady?" I nodded in her direction. "How do I know it's really God telling me to do it?" I asked. "Is your heart speeding up?" "Yes, and my legs are tingly," I replied. As crazy or strange as they may be, those are always the "symptoms" I get when I know the Lord wants me to move. This time was no different than any of the others, and the sensations grew stronger as I watched her sit down in the booth across from us and rest.
       It was a leap of faith, but I couldn't combat God any longer. I got up from the table and walked over to the woman. I had typed out a little note on my phone which I then translated. After, I handed her my phone. She glanced at the words: "I felt led to pray for you. Would that be okay with you?" Her eyes squinted briefly and she looked up to meet my eyes. Her smile was reassuring. I typed out a long prayer into the translator and watched it transition from English to Spanish. "Me llamo Becca," I added out loud for her. "She glanced up and introduced herself." Then she went back to reading.
       "Dear Jesus, my Savior, my Lord and King," it began, "I thank you for Rosa. I thank you that she is more beautiful than all the flowers You have created. I thank you that she is valuable and that You love her..." The rest of the paragraph had flowed out from the Spirit within me. Once she was done reading, she looked up again and smiled widely. She must have understood, and even if she didn't, her spirit man definitely did. I then proceeded to quickly recap the prayer out loud in English. She allowed me to hug her. "Buenas noches," my voice lilted to her. She waved to me as I walked out of the restaurant.
       This is not something I wanted to do. It was almost embarrassing, extremely scary, and risky. Anything could have happened. Not only that, but I felt completely inadequate to take on such a responsible and spiritual task. I didn't feel that I was ready or mature enough. How was it that God could use me when a few days before, I was feeling depressed, worthless, sin-filled, and dirty? Then it hit me.
       Throughout the whole entire Bible, we see that outside of Jesus, God didn't use completely perfect, blameless, 100% holy people. In fact, He used quite the opposite. It was His joy to use those who were in the dumps, in pits of sin. I have been reminded of this recently and found some perfect examples of this fact that have been shared among my friends on social networking.
        Noah got downright drunk. Genesis 9:21 states, "When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent." As you may or may not know, the Bible clearly says in Ephesians 5:18, "Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit." Yes, it is actually not cool with God if you get drunk. He would rather you be filled with His Spirit, and believe it or not, I have ever been drunk with the Spirit (without any alcohol passing my lips. It's much more rewarding). God used Noah to build a whole entire ark full of every animal you could ever imagine, knowing that he was just an ordinary man who liked drinking.

       Moses was a murderer. Exodus 2:12 tells us this: "Moses looked all around and saw that no one was watching, so he killed the Egyptian and hid his body in the sand." Murder is in the Ten Commandments, for crying out loud. "Thou shalt not kill." Seems pretty straightforward, but Moses killed. God still used Him to deliver His people out of Egypt! He used him to send messages to the Pharaoh, to speak the prophecy of the plagues, and to part a whole entire sea! Leading a whole crowd of people is a pretty large task for someone who killed another person. But God didn't care. He had plans for Moses.

     Rahab was a prostitute. Joshua 6:25 tells us what she was but what she ended up doing. "Joshua saved Rahab the prostitute, her family, and all who were with her, because Rahab had helped the men he had sent to spy out Jericho." So, wait, back the truck up. She was sexually immoral, a sinner, and God still used her to save the men who were working for the kingdom? That's insane, right?

      David was an adulterer AND a murderer. 2 Samuel 11 explains that David was up on his roof and saw Bathsheba from afar. She was very beautiful, and she was married to Uriah the Hittite. David sent for her and had sexual relations with her, causing her to become pregnant. Later, David had Uriah purposefully put on the front lines in battle to be killed. All of this happened, yet God still used David to be a great and mighty king and a giant slayer. Not only that, but the Bible says in Acts 13:22 that David was a man after His own heart.

      Okay, Becca. You have said a whole lot and given a lot of examples of people who were sinners that God just so happened to use. How is that relevant to me? It's simple. God foresaw every single sin that these people were going to commit. He knew what kind of lives they would live and how dirty their hearts, minds, and spirits would be. Even on our best days, our righteousness is as filthy as rags (Isaiah 6:46). We will never amount to a perfect holiness in this life, and guess what? God knows that! Otherwise, He would not have sent His Son to save our lives. We were born into sin, but God knew we would also incur a lot of sin in our lives by our choices and decisions.
       These people in the Bible were just average, ordinary, everyday people. They weren't anything special at first. By the grace of God, they became leaders and servants of the kingdom. God in them made them far more special than they ever could have been by themselves and despite their sin. No matter what, God had a plan for them and LOVED them just as He loves us and wants us to fulfill our purposes He has created for us. If you think you can't be used because of your sin or issues in life, just remember that Jesus chose to dine with sinners far more often than with those who thought they were superior and righteous or holy. He may use people who have it all together (although who ever REALLY does?), but He truly seeks to use those who are "the lowest of the low." Not only does it give Him great joy to meet us in the bottoms of our pits, but He rejoices in lifting us up and revealing Himself and His glory to us and all of those around us, ultimately bringing about salvations and stories of redemption.

(All photos are not mine and may be subject to copyright!)