Reasons for the Seasons

Dear LAYNE, why can't I seem to overcome my depression even though I have a relationship with God?

Ecclesiastes 3:1;4 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to weep and a time to dance..."

       Maybe it's because I'm homesick. Maybe it's because the campus that I live on is small, and there isn't much to do around here. Maybe it's because I randomly get a lot of assignments to do at one time and feel stressed. Maybe it's because I haven't been spending enough time with God to talk to Him and listen to Him, praying and worshiping all the while. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm lost in a sea of people and/or I'm lonely. Maybe it's because I'm naturally a human and a sinner who struggles in life just like everyone else. Maybe it's a huge combination of all of those things. Whatever the reason, here lately has been difficult for me, and I have been battling what America calls "depression."
       It's one of those topics that honestly feels complicated to discuss. Most people shy away from the subject because it makes them feel uncomfortable. I'm never really sure how people are going to react to how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. I feel insecure about having those said thoughts and feelings most of the time and fear being vulnerable. I'm most worried that no one is going to understand or relate to me. A lot of the time, I'd rather hide myself away because I don't want to burden anyone with the fact that I struggle to find interest in things or humor in things. There are also times, I don't know if I am strong enough to play the part and put on a mask so that I'm not a downer. Then I wonder how God is going to feel about me being so depressed when He is supposed to be my source of all joy and everything good in life. How can I possibly be down in the dumps with a God like Him in my life and with the relationship we have? Why can't I get out of those dumps? How does he view me? Is he disappointed? Does He still love me? Is my relationship with Him actually going to suffer because of any depression?

       The truth is, whether we like it or not, depression is a weapon from the enemy, and it's more common than we think. We are not alone. In fact, there is a guy in the Bible we might relate to: Job.
       The guy has a great relationship with God...so much in fact that Satan challenges God about him. He thinks that he can get Job to curse God and turn away from Him after taking everything he has. God believes that Job will not do as Satan suggests he will. In one day, Job loses all of his ten children, livestock, and servants. Job shaves his head, tears pouring from his eyes, but he chooses to bless God. God allows Satan another chance to tempt Job. Sores take over his skin, and he is miserable. His wife even tells him to go ahead and curse God and die. But Job takes his circumstances and accepts them, pressing on through the pain and hardship. When his three friends come to visit, Job expresses to them that he curses the day he was born and that light and life itself simply magnify his misery and depression. His friends think there must be sins or evil committed against God that he is paying for. Then they say his punishments should be worse and that his children incurred their own deaths. Not only did he lose so much, but Job didn't even have a support group either! Job is bothered by their "wisdom" and lets them know that he has a witness and Redeemer in heaven who can vouch for his innocence.

       But that does not stop Job from becoming afraid, worried, impatient, and sarcastic. While Job gets very irritated with God and wants to complain to Him that evil people are prospering while tons of innocent people are being left to suffer, he knows he cannot physically find the Lord. He then decides to just sit and wait patiently, fearing the Lord and straying from evil in the meantime.
       Even though his fourth friend is just as "wise" as the others and doesn't give Job much encouragement, he does say a few interesting things. "God communicates with humans by two ways—visions and physical pain...physical suffering provides the sufferer with an opportunity to realize God’s love and forgiveness when he is well again, understanding that God has 'ransomed' him from an impending death (33:24)."***
       In the end, Job realizes who he really serves. God sees Job's faithfulness to Him through all of his loss, misery, depression, and hopelessness. He then multiplies everything Job had by two and returns it to him: health, property, and new children.

       There is a time and a season for everything. Much like Job - for multiple reasons, some the same as each other, some different - we go through seasons of depression. I call them "drought" seasons. We feel empty, spiritually dry, weak, sad, overwhelmed or possibly numb. And God knows this. It's written in His Word that there are times for mourning and weeping. But it also says there are times for laughter and dancing. The problem, however, is that we often forget to laugh and dance through the weeping and the mourning until the storms of life evaporate. Unlike Job, we often forget to praise the Lord and give Him glory, honor, and blessings to His name when we are down in the dumps and feel like our problems will never pass. Those may truly be two of the reasons that we can't get out of the depression: 1) Not accepting that sometimes there are seasons in which we will not feel or hear from God directly (even though He is always there with us) and/or that there are seasons we will simply feel dry and empty, and 2) Not giving God what He deserves even when we do go through those rough seasons.
       The amazing thing about all of this is that we can be rest assured that there IS a new season coming eventually. For some, it may take years, for others, it may only be a few days. And for the rest, different times in between. But the fact is, it WILL come. We have to trust God that no matter what season we are in, we can stick to Him in our relationships with Him, and He will reveal to us in due time the reasons for our hurts and pains, our sadness, tears, and depressions if it is in our best interests, especially if they can be used to minister to others who are where we have been. Until then, we must know that God will give us grace to dwell in these seasons and strength for when we feel weak and as though we can no longer carry on in these seasons. We must lean on Him and know that He is God despite our low days, and we must remember that much like continuing to worship God in times of darkness, rainbows can still shine through darkened clouds and storms.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Keep your head up, and try hiding these verses in your heart for those days that make you feel like you can't go on.

• Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
• Deuteronomy 31:8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
• Psalm 34:7 "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles."
• Psalm 42:11 "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."
• 1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
• 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
• 1 Peter 4:12-13 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
• Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

(All photos are NOT mine and are subject to copyright. ***this is a brief summary from sparknotes).

Sitting with Sinners

Dear LAYNE, what if I feel like I'm nothing special? Can God still really use me?

Matthew 9:10 "While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples."

   

       It was only a few weeks ago. I was sitting in a Mexican restaurant called La Fogata with my parents and two of our family friends. This kind of occurrence happened often, as we enjoyed each others' company and eating good food. This particular occurrence, however, turned out to be very different than usual.
       She caught my eyes while they were wandering around the room and taking in colors. Barely taller than her cleaning cart, she walked around the restaurant picking up trash, sweeping up dirt, wiping down the tables, rearranging the tables' condiments, and stopping every little bit to take a moment to breathe. I knew what I had to do as soon as she had caught my eye. The feeling was instantaneous and unable to be swayed. I couldn't procrastinate, but fear slowly crept up my spine.
       What if she didn't receive me? I thought to myself, "Lord, there is no way I'm going through with this. I refuse. I just can't. She may not even speak English!" Arguments poured out of my head and heart and into the heavens. "Fine," I finally surrendered, "if she walks by me on my right side, I'll do what You have asked." God must have chuckled at me. Everyone knows you don't try to make deals with Him when it comes to His will and your obedience.
       I typed a quick little message to both my mother and one of the family friends. "I have to pray for her. I don't know why, and I don't even know what to say." My mother's eyes met mine, and she began to murmur under her breath. "Which lady?" I nodded in her direction. "How do I know it's really God telling me to do it?" I asked. "Is your heart speeding up?" "Yes, and my legs are tingly," I replied. As crazy or strange as they may be, those are always the "symptoms" I get when I know the Lord wants me to move. This time was no different than any of the others, and the sensations grew stronger as I watched her sit down in the booth across from us and rest.
       It was a leap of faith, but I couldn't combat God any longer. I got up from the table and walked over to the woman. I had typed out a little note on my phone which I then translated. After, I handed her my phone. She glanced at the words: "I felt led to pray for you. Would that be okay with you?" Her eyes squinted briefly and she looked up to meet my eyes. Her smile was reassuring. I typed out a long prayer into the translator and watched it transition from English to Spanish. "Me llamo Becca," I added out loud for her. "She glanced up and introduced herself." Then she went back to reading.
       "Dear Jesus, my Savior, my Lord and King," it began, "I thank you for Rosa. I thank you that she is more beautiful than all the flowers You have created. I thank you that she is valuable and that You love her..." The rest of the paragraph had flowed out from the Spirit within me. Once she was done reading, she looked up again and smiled widely. She must have understood, and even if she didn't, her spirit man definitely did. I then proceeded to quickly recap the prayer out loud in English. She allowed me to hug her. "Buenas noches," my voice lilted to her. She waved to me as I walked out of the restaurant.
       This is not something I wanted to do. It was almost embarrassing, extremely scary, and risky. Anything could have happened. Not only that, but I felt completely inadequate to take on such a responsible and spiritual task. I didn't feel that I was ready or mature enough. How was it that God could use me when a few days before, I was feeling depressed, worthless, sin-filled, and dirty? Then it hit me.
       Throughout the whole entire Bible, we see that outside of Jesus, God didn't use completely perfect, blameless, 100% holy people. In fact, He used quite the opposite. It was His joy to use those who were in the dumps, in pits of sin. I have been reminded of this recently and found some perfect examples of this fact that have been shared among my friends on social networking.
        Noah got downright drunk. Genesis 9:21 states, "When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent." As you may or may not know, the Bible clearly says in Ephesians 5:18, "Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit." Yes, it is actually not cool with God if you get drunk. He would rather you be filled with His Spirit, and believe it or not, I have ever been drunk with the Spirit (without any alcohol passing my lips. It's much more rewarding). God used Noah to build a whole entire ark full of every animal you could ever imagine, knowing that he was just an ordinary man who liked drinking.

       Moses was a murderer. Exodus 2:12 tells us this: "Moses looked all around and saw that no one was watching, so he killed the Egyptian and hid his body in the sand." Murder is in the Ten Commandments, for crying out loud. "Thou shalt not kill." Seems pretty straightforward, but Moses killed. God still used Him to deliver His people out of Egypt! He used him to send messages to the Pharaoh, to speak the prophecy of the plagues, and to part a whole entire sea! Leading a whole crowd of people is a pretty large task for someone who killed another person. But God didn't care. He had plans for Moses.

     Rahab was a prostitute. Joshua 6:25 tells us what she was but what she ended up doing. "Joshua saved Rahab the prostitute, her family, and all who were with her, because Rahab had helped the men he had sent to spy out Jericho." So, wait, back the truck up. She was sexually immoral, a sinner, and God still used her to save the men who were working for the kingdom? That's insane, right?

      David was an adulterer AND a murderer. 2 Samuel 11 explains that David was up on his roof and saw Bathsheba from afar. She was very beautiful, and she was married to Uriah the Hittite. David sent for her and had sexual relations with her, causing her to become pregnant. Later, David had Uriah purposefully put on the front lines in battle to be killed. All of this happened, yet God still used David to be a great and mighty king and a giant slayer. Not only that, but the Bible says in Acts 13:22 that David was a man after His own heart.

      Okay, Becca. You have said a whole lot and given a lot of examples of people who were sinners that God just so happened to use. How is that relevant to me? It's simple. God foresaw every single sin that these people were going to commit. He knew what kind of lives they would live and how dirty their hearts, minds, and spirits would be. Even on our best days, our righteousness is as filthy as rags (Isaiah 6:46). We will never amount to a perfect holiness in this life, and guess what? God knows that! Otherwise, He would not have sent His Son to save our lives. We were born into sin, but God knew we would also incur a lot of sin in our lives by our choices and decisions.
       These people in the Bible were just average, ordinary, everyday people. They weren't anything special at first. By the grace of God, they became leaders and servants of the kingdom. God in them made them far more special than they ever could have been by themselves and despite their sin. No matter what, God had a plan for them and LOVED them just as He loves us and wants us to fulfill our purposes He has created for us. If you think you can't be used because of your sin or issues in life, just remember that Jesus chose to dine with sinners far more often than with those who thought they were superior and righteous or holy. He may use people who have it all together (although who ever REALLY does?), but He truly seeks to use those who are "the lowest of the low." Not only does it give Him great joy to meet us in the bottoms of our pits, but He rejoices in lifting us up and revealing Himself and His glory to us and all of those around us, ultimately bringing about salvations and stories of redemption.

(All photos are not mine and may be subject to copyright!)